How to Build Rapport with Anyone

By Dave Kahle

Building rapport with customers is like squirting oil into gears. Imagine some gears grinding together. When you squirt lubricating oil into the gears, you reduce the friction and make everything work smoother.

So it is when two people interact with each other. Rapport, like lubricating oil, reduces the friction and makes the interaction work smoother. For a sales person, creating rapport with any human being is an essential step that enables the customer to feel comfortable, and leads to a much more effective sales interaction. The best sales people create rapport with everyone.

Fortunately, creating that sense of understanding and mutual trust is a skill which has been studied through the ages. Here are a few proven ways to build rapport with anyone.

1. Pay attention to your appearance.

People will form an impression of you, based on how you look, before they even say hello to you. Your appearance, then, should be designed to help you look confident and competent – whatever that means in your market. At a minimum, that means clothes clean and pressed, shoes shined and hair cut.

Your attire should help you connect with the customer — not separate you from him. For example, if you are calling on production supervisors, you shouldn’t wear a suit and tie, as that will separate you from them and generate a bit of discomfort in them.

The best rule I’ve seen is this: Dress like your customer, only a little better. On several occasions, I have worked with sales forces who sold to farmers. Blue jeans and flannel shirts are OK, as long as they are clean and pressed blue jeans, and a better quality flannel shirt.

But what if you call on several different types of customers in the same day? One sales person shared his approach to this problem. He wore gray slacks, a blue button-down collar shirt, and a navy blazer. When he called on managers and executives, he dressed it up by putting on a tie. And, when he called on people who weren’t in the executive suite, he dressed it down by removing the blazer and the tie.


2. Use a sincere compliment

Everyone likes to be complimented. When you sincerely compliment a customer (or his company), you communicate that you are interested in him/her, that you have noticed something they do that stands out, and that you aren’t afraid to say something complimentary. Those are all good things.

Not so long ago, I entered a prospect’s office building for the first time. The lobby was quite dramatic, with a two story atrium, and a soaring piece of sculpture. When he came down to meet me, I immediately told him that the lobby was very impressive, and that I felt very comfortable and a bit inspired because of it. We chatted for a few minutes about it and I then followed him to his office, having achieved some rapport.


This article is available in an expanded format.  Read “Seven ways to build rapport with anyone”  here.

3. Ask a perceptive question

A perceptive question, asked with sincerity, does everything that a compliment does and then some. When the compliment doesn’t call for any response from the customer, a question does. If done correctly, it can initiate the conversation and help the customer feel like you are interested and care about him.

In the previous situation, for example, I could have said, “Was it designed to create that kind of feeling?”

4. Indicate a personal connection

If you have something in common with the customer, mention it. You don’t have to beat it to death, just mention it. When the customer discovers that you both know the same person, went to the same school, vacationed in the same place, or belong to the same organization, he realizes that you are alike in some ways. It’s easier to do business with someone who is like you.

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Building rapport is a science with proven practices and tactics. Use any of these techniques and watch your ability to create rapport improve, and thereby smooth out the way to more sales.

About the Author:

Dave Kahle is one of the world’s leading sales authorities. He’s written twelve books, presented in 47 states and ten countries, and has helped enrich tens of thousands of sales people and transform hundreds of sales organizations.  Sign up for his free weekly Ezine.  Check out our Sales Resource Center for 455 sales training programs for every sales person at every level.

You may contact Dave at 800-331-1287, or

Image “Business Man” courtesy of graur razvan ionut/

Image “Executives Posing Under A Chandelier” courtesy of stockimages/

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